The Media Tourist

Ferociously entertaining reboot shines with dazzling effects, action and emotion

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes
Starring Owen Teague, Freyda Allan & Kevin Durand
Directed by Wes Ball
Rated PG-13

In theaters Friday, May 10

In the newest installment of the durable film franchise about a world in which apes and humans coexist, a young chimpanzee squares off with a fearsome bonobo leader as all civilization hangs precariously in the balance. It’s a rip-roaring dystopian survival tale, a heroic journey, a parable about caring for our planet and an emotionally resonant tale about families, friends and the future.

But Curious George Goes to the Zoo, it isn’t. There’s some seriously muscular monkeyshine going on in this depiction of what happens when our young protagonist chimpanzee, Noa, sets out on a journey to find his clan, which has been subjugated into slavery by a cruel alpha-ape tyrant who calls himself Proximus Caesar. (All you Latin scholars will know that proximus means “next” or “nearest,” which is this monstrous monkey’s only relation to the late, great benevolent ape leader Caesar, who died at the end of the previous movie, 2017’s War for the Planet of the Apes.) And Noa soon finds out just how the new Caesar is totally, despotically different from the old Caesar.

The new movie—the ninth in the canon—plunks us again down on Earth hundreds of years from now when apes have supplanted humans. We learn that the cause was a mutated virus with a world-changing side effect: It led apes to become fluent in speech (we know they know at least one common curse word!) and civilized, and dethroned humans into bands of feral, mute scavenging pests. The apes call humans echoes, suggesting their distant, faint resemblance to mankind of yore.  

As you might suppose, most of the characters here are apes, played and voiced by actors underneath deep layers of motion-capture effects and CGI. Owen Teague is Noa, Kevin Durand is Proxiumus, and Peter Macon is Raga, a sagacious old orangutan. There’s also a host of talent behind the performances of Noa’s ape clan, Caesar’s merciless foot soldiers, and hundreds of supporting simians. There are only a couple of non-monkeys in the mix—William H. Macy is a human now ill-advisedly serving as a lackey for Proximus, and The Witcher’s Freyda Allan plays Mae, an uneasy female echo who becomes an ally of Noa and Raga—but with an agenda of her own that is revealed later.

It’s an ape-tastic epic, action-packed and full of feels that will touch your (human) heart, tapping back into the sci-fi soul of the original Planet of the Apes in 1968. (There’s a scene with apes on horseback, snatching up men and women with nets, that will definitely give you Charlton Heston vibes.) The tech is nothing short of amazing, showing just how much SFX has evolved and progressed—to make ape characters look, move and behave like apes, instead of human actors in monkey suits and prosthetics. With fully emotive CGI faces and bodies, these apes feel like they’re on the vanguard of the next movie-effects breakthrough, the same way Avatar set a new motion-capture standard more than a decade ago.   

A couple of vertiginous “climbing” sequences, with the apes swinging like trapeze artists from mountainous peaks and scaling a sheer rock coastal cliff, will really get your blood pumping. The ape-on-ape fighting scenes have a fierce intensity that “human” actors can’t realistically match, with teeth-baring, chest-thumping, body-slamming brawls that might leave you feeling a bit bruised yourself.

In addition to allusions to politics, Roman history and power run amok, there are other touchstones. Monstrously menacing apes snarl like mini Kongs, ruling a brutish “kingdom” that resembles Col. Kurtz’s compound in Apocalypse Now.  Even little Curious George gets a wink-wink shoutout, in a children’s book found by the apes. Some of the apes-on-horseback scenes, clopping along with conversational banter, reminded me of Butch Cassidy and the Sunday Kid. The abandoned shells of human civilization—from rusted ship hulls to hollowed-out shopping malls and observatories overtaken by ivy—are stark suggestions about where humanity might end up someday, marked by decayed relics of long-forgotten science, advancement and history.

This ferociously entertaining franchise reboot (from director Wes Ball, who also directed The Maze Runner trilogy) lets us revisit a planet still evolving, a place where apes and humans still haven’t fully worked things out. Will they ever, or will one or the other always get the upper hand? In a closing scene as humans and apes both look above, gazing at the same stars in the same night sky, we’re left to wonder what they’re thinking—and wait, perhaps, for the next return to the Planet of the Apes.

—Neil Pond

Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt put the heart in this slam-bang salute to Hollywood’s unsung heroes

The Fall Guy
Starring Ryan Gosling & Emily Blunt
Directed by David Leitch
Rated PG-13

In theaters Friday, May 3

Stunt professionals “take it on the chin” in nearly every movie, getting punched and pummeled, tumbling out of cars, plummeting off buildings and doing everything else deemed too dangerous for the stars. They’re the “fall guys,” like Colt Severs (Ryan Gosling), who’s found a steady gig as the slam-bang stunt double for a world-famous action hero, Tom Ryder (Alex Taylor Johnson).

But Colt’s career is interrupted when a stunt for Tom goes catastrophically wrong. Months later, when he’s recovered and returned to work, he’s reunited on another film with Ryder—and finds himself in the middle of a missing-person mystery and a conspiracy to connect him to a crime he didn’t commit. Will Colt “take the fall” in more ways than one?

It’s a lively, wildly entertaining ride into behind-the-scenes Hollywood, full of surprises, twists and turns, super-sized action, wink-wink comedy, hissable villains and standup good guys, and an eye-popping, ever-escalating cascade of sheer cinematic chutzpah. And there’s a soft, cuddly heart in the middle of all the explosions, car crashes and fisticuffs as Colt rekindles his old flame with a camera operator turned director (Emily Blunt) struggling to finish her first movie—a sprawling post-apocalyptic sci-fi epic—on location in Australia.

The many meta references to other movies and the film’s detailed immersion into the realm of professional stunt work comes from director David Leitch, himself a stunt performer before moving behind the camera for action-packed movies like John Wick, Atomic Blonde, Deadpool 2, Bullet Train and the Fast & Furious spinoff Hobbs & Shaw. Stay for the credits and you’ll get a look at the stunt pros who stepped in for popcorn-jostling scenes in which Reynold’s character dangles from a helicopter, gets set on fire (repeatedly), is thrown through a windshield and pilots a speedboat with his hands literally tied behind his back. (It’s a handy skill that Colt, we find out, learned to do in his first stunt job, for TV’s Miami Vice.

There are also knowing nods to the new, modern era of movie AI deepfake effects—at the roots of Hollywood’s recent acting strike—as well as prop guns (Alec Baldwin, anyone?) and the TV show on which the movie’s loosely based, the early ‘80s series starring Lee Majors as a stuntman who moonlights as a bounty hunter. (Again, stay for the credits—where you’ll also hear the theme song to the TV series, performed anew by country star Blake Shelton, and see a couple of surprise appearances.) The name of another recognizable actor pops up on a random Post-It note before the star himself later pops up on screen. Or is he a deepfake?

Ted Lasso’s Hannah Waddingham plays a pitbullish producer, Ben Knight is a bruising bad guy, and The Black Panther’s Winston Duke is one of Cole’s stunt colleagues. You’ll see the heavily tattooed Aussie actor Matuse Paz (he’s in the nightclub scene) again in Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga.

Gosling and Blunt make a wonderfully matched movie couple, firing up some feisty, old-school Hollywood romcom chemistry and cheeky quippery. The music is on point too, from the recurring theme (Yungblud’s cover of KISS’s “I Was Made for Lovin’ You”) to a karaoke version of Phil Collin’s “Against All Odds,” delightfully used as a backdrop for a bruising brawl in the back of a garbage truck careening crazily out of control. You’ll love how Taylor Swift’s “All Too Well” brings Colt to tears.

As things zip and zing along, you’ll see how unicorns, prosthetic alien hands, space cowboys and a dead body in a bathtub all fit into things. I love the attack dog that only takes commands in French, and there’s more than one reference to another Tom, a real-life action superstar who—like Tom Ryder—likes to boast about how he does so many of his own stunts.          

It’s an adroitly clever and finely crafted cinematic ode to the rough-and-tumble world of the “unsung heroes” who make action look so easy—and get consistently overlooked by the Oscars, as Colt dryly notes.   

If you’re looking for a gonzo good time, crackling with star charisma, spinning around a sweetly romantic core and driven by a genuine love for what makes movies tick, buckle up for The Fall Guy. And hold onto your popcorn!

—Neil Pond

Slip on a tutu and sink your fangs into this feisty, freaky new vampire tale

Abigail
Starring Alisha Weir, Kathryn Newton, Melissa Barrera & Dan Stevens
Directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillet
Rated R

In theaters Friday, April 19

What’s scarier than a vampire? A kid vampire! In this ferociously entertaining fright flick, kidnappers get a big surprise after they nab the daughter of a bigshot millionaire, only to find themselves trapped in a spooky old house with a shrieking, bloodsucking monster tot who’s in no mood to play nice.

Young Alisha Weir, who starred in Netflix’s Matilda the Musical, is Abigail, a preteen ballerina (the code name for the abduction is “Tiny Dancer”) who loves doing the sauté to Swan Lake almost as much as slicing into a juicy jugular vein. The crew of kidnappers (Dan Stevens, Kathryn Newton, Will Catlett, Melissa Barrea, Angus Cloud and Kevin Durand) have all signed on for the snatch job, hoping to split a hefty ransom of $50 million. But Abigail has other plans.

The small ensemble cast is game, in more ways than one, as they find themselves on the defensive—and on the menu. “I like to play with my food,” Abigail admits. Blood gushes, bodies burst like viscera-filled balloons, and heads roll once she bares her mouthful of pointy teeth. It’s no coincidence that an Agatha Christie classic, “And Then There Were None,” is tucked away on the bookshelf.

And it turns out little vampires can have daddy issues, too.

Pint-sized terror is nothing new in Hollywood, from Children of the Corn, The Exorcist and The Omen to The Ring and Village of the Damned. And Dracula and Nosferatu may be the OGs of bloodsuckers, but could they twinkle-toe in a blood-smeared tutu along a balcony railing, doing a dainty pirouette before pouncing? Now there’s fresh blood, a new kid in town. And it feels she’s ready to sink her fangs into a feisty, freaky new horror franchise.

—Neil Pond

Henry Cavill leads a bunch of rogue-rascal Brits on a super-secret WWII mission

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare
Starring Henry Cavill, Alan Richson, Babs Olusanmokun & Eiza Gonzáles
Directed by Guy Richie
Rated R

In theaters Friday, April 19

A group of rip-roaring rapscallions plots to wipe out a nest of nasty Nazis in this World War II action romp inspired by a true story. Director Guy Richie’s latest baddie-laddie ensemble flick is based on a 1942 covert mission by British operatives to sabotage the supply chain for German submarines making the Atlantic so treacherous for Allied Forces.

That’s just a bunch of blah-blah, though, in this movie mainly about hot bods and bang-bang. Germans are dispatched by the dozen with just about every weapon imaginable—guns, grenades, shivs, an axe and a bow and arrows. There are bombs on boats, bombs in bunkers, bombs on beaches.

Alan Richson also stars in TV’s ‘Reacher.’

And bombshells all over the screen. Hunky Henry Cavill (known for his recurring roles as Superman) and equally hunky (if not even hunkier) Alan Richson (who stars as the title character in the Prime action series Reacher) look like they just came from a Britbox special on history’s hottest stealth fighters. Eiza Gonzáles (below), the only female in the cast, plays another real-life character (model-turned-Hollywood actress Margie Stewart) whose actual role in the real mission is historically vague—although she sure vamps it up here as a sexy spy, at one point dressed as a bare-midriff Cleopatra, seducing a smitten SS officer (Til Schweiger) and sashaying onstage through “Mack the Knife” for a group of cheering, leering Nazis. (For some reason, it made me think of Madeline Kahn cavorting for a saloon full of cowboys in the saloon as Lili Von Schtupp in Mel Brooks’ Blazing Saddles.)

The movie’s mission is a high-stakes hail Mary pass by Great Britain, desperate to keep Hitler’s forces from marching ashore after stomping across Europe. Although Winston Churchill himself (Rory Kinnear plays the famous Prime Minister) has sanctioned them, these brazen Brits know they’ll be arrested for war crimes if they’re snared by the British navy—and certainly executed if captured by the Nazis. Churchill gives the go-ahead for the group to do whatever it takes to succeed, even if it means breaking the rules and stooping below wartime “conventions.” It’s a job for ungentlemanly gentlemen and their dirty tricks.  

And as a kind of pseudo-historical bonus, the movie offers a thru-line to the world’s most famous superspy. James Bond’s creator, Ian Fleming, was a British intelligence officer in WWII, and his fictional, suave 007 was inspired by the character Cavill plays in the film—the quippy, dashingly handsome, caddish commando Gus March-Phillips, who was the real-life husband of actress, model (and maybe special agent) Margie Stewart. In the film, Fleming is also around, without much to do but observe, and played by British actor Freddie Fox.

The appearance of Bond’s creator in a movie also featuring an actor rumored to be under consideration to play the next movie Bond (Cavill)….portraying the real-world inspiration for James Bond….makes everything feel a bit like a mobius strip with historical facts on one side and pop fiction on the other.

There’s a lot of adrenaline-stoked action, retorts of snappy British banter and spasms of highly choreographed violence—all hallmarks of director Guy Richie’s other projects like his Gentleman franchise, Snatch and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. But there’s also the sense that The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is siphoning off mojo from a couple of other WWII-adjacent films, including The Dirty Dozen from the 1960s and Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds.

The plot is a bombs-away jumble and gets particularly chaotic toward the end. Much of the mostly British ensemble cast—Henry Golding, Cary Elwes, Alex Pettyfer—gets lost in the crossfire…and the undercover “darkness” of night, which envelopes almost the entire second half of the film. But at least most of the “name” actors fare far better than almost all the cardboard-villain Nazis. The fearsome SS is a bunch of easily dispatched doofuses only there to be mowed down by this cheeky crew of hunky Brits in a sailboat.

“They’ll thank you for this one day,” someone remarks to March-Phillips. And indeed they did, as the real characters were ultimately recognized for their bravery and their under-the-radar dirty deeds. But as a movie, I don’t predict a lot of accolades for this lad-fest blowout, a distinctly Guy Richie concoction of glib violence, gabby retorts and implausibly smooth subterfuge, with studly, scruffy scallywags and a foxy, pistol-packing siren—plus a pop-cultural nod to another dapper “gentleman” who’d come along a couple of decades later with his own license to kill.

—Neil Pond