Category Archives: Movie Reviews

Movie review: “The Phoenician Scheme”

Director Wes Anderson’s latest eccentric curveball of a movie has an all-star cast in a globetrotting tale of shady international business shenanigans

The Phoenician Scheme
Starring Benicio Del Toro, Mia Threapleton & Michael Cera
Directed by Wes Anderson
Rated PG-13

In theaters Friday, May 30

Like other films by director Wes Anderson, The Phoenician Scheme is an eccentric curveball of quirky characters, dark humor, deadpan delivery and meticulous visual flair. If you loved Moonrise Kingdom, The French Dispatch, The Royal Tenenbaums and The Grand Budapest Hotel, you’ll feel cozily at home with this wildly unpredictable, globetrotting tale of an amoral, assassination-dodging 1950s tycoon (Benico Del Toro) trying to put together a massive power-grab project in the Mediterranean.

In between recurring avant-garde afterlife dream sequences, there’s international sabotage and market manipulation, oddball investors, retro-cool gizmos, an insect-loving Norwegian etymologist (Michael Cera) with a secret, and a pipe-smoking young woman (Mia Threapleton) who may, or may not, be cut out for the convent life. Tom Hanks and Brian Cranston play a pair of characters who do business over a game of basketball…in a train tunnel. There’s Scarlett Johannson, Hope Davis, Stephen Park, Riz Almed, F. Murray Abraham, Jeffrey Wright, Charlottes Gainsbourgh—and Benedict Cumberbatch as an estranged uncle with a grudge, and a golly-whopper thicket of facial hair.

A recurring line is “Help yourself to a hand grenade.” And most people do.

Benicio Del Toro, Mia Threapleton and Michael Cera

There’s a group of militant guerrilla fighters, discussions about faith and atheism, two plane crashes, quicksand, flying arrows from a crossbow, and an endearingly soft emotional subtext about the importance of family.  And oh, yeah, Bill Murray is God.

It’s all played super seriously for laughs, with everyone all-aboard the big, caustically funny running joke. Some of the faces will be familiar from previous Wes Anderson movies, but Threapleton (the daughter of Oscar-winning Kate Winslet) and Cera both shine in their debuts with the director, becoming central to the movie’s ever-evolving plotline. Here’s hoping to see them both again in another wild-ride Anderson caper.

“This is just…crazy,” Threapleton’s character says at one point. You may agree. The Phoenician Scheme is, indeed, crazy—but it’s precisely the kind of delightful absurdity that fans of Wes Anderson movies have come to expect and adore.

Neil Pond

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Movie Review: “Mission: Impossible—The Final Reckoning”

Tom Cruise goes out with a slam-bang in his supposedly last installment of the iconic big-screen spy-action franchise

Mission: Impossible—The Final Reckoning
Starring Tom Cruise, Hayley Atwell, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg & Esai Morales
Directed by Christopher McQuarrie
Rated PG-13

In theaters Friday, May 31

In this eighth (and ostensibly final) installment of the big-screen franchise, which revived the deep-dish espionage of the iconic 1960s TV series in the ‘90s, Tom Cruise reprises his starring role as Ethan Hunt, a rogue IMF (Impossible Mission Force) agent faced with another seemingly “impossible” task— to save the world from annihilation by an all-consuming truth-eating digital parasite known as The Entity.

How’s he going to do it? “We’ll figure it out,” he says.

Figuring it out is a bit of a challenge for the audience in this nearly three-hour spectacle loaded with gravitas, self-reflection, doomsday vibes, loads of expository blather and a couple of show-stopping stunt sequences. The plot is crazily confusing, its cup runneth over with actors from previous films, and there’s a lot of talking—about what’s happening, what happened, and what it all means. In case you’ve forgotten, it throws in some greatest hits of Mission: Impossible movie highlights from the past two decades.

But when Cruise takes a deep dive to the bottom of the icy Barren Sea, to find a digital doodad left behind in a sunken Soviet sub clinging precariously to the edge of a bottomless abyss, or when he dangles with derring-do in a grand finale involving two dueling biplanes in the skies over South Africa, well, such preposterously complicated, supremely slam-bang stunt stuff makes you forget about the movie’s more, ahem, tedious passages. In case you haven’t heard, Cruise proudly does his own stunts, and in these two extended scenes, he earns a couple more gold stars—and shows where some of the film’s reported budget of $400 million went.

Hayley Atwell returns as Grace, the former thief now turned IMF agent. There’s Simon Pegg and Ving Rhames, as Ethan’s closest friends and allies. Pom Kiementieff takes a break from playing the alien creature Mantis in Marvel Guardian of the Galaxy movies to return as Paris, the French assassin with a vendetta for Gabriel (Esai Morales), who holds the key—literally—to The Entity. Angela Bassett is the U.S. president, who finds herself in a very tough geo-political spot.

If you’re looking for how the movie nods directly toward its predecessors, there’s the character played by Shea Whigam, from Boardwalk Empire, who traces the intellectual property’s genetic line all the way back to its TV roots. And hey, is that Nick Offerman as a high-ranking military general, and Ted Lasso’s Hannah Wadingham as a Navy official trying to prevent World War III? Yep!

At one point, Ethan is told that “Everything you are, everything you’ve done, has come to this.” That’s certainly true with Tom Cruise and his new Mission: Impossible, which makes a point of reminding us of its impressive run of big-screen escapism across nearly 20 years.  

The movie, which began filming back in 2022, hits screens at a time when its storyline feels especially linked to our contemporary world, with modern worries about AI and cyberspace, fraught international relations and the possibility of nuclear self-destruction. And it doesn’t appear like we can count on Ethan Hunt to come along anymore, hanging from an airplane wing or escaping from a submarine torpedo tube, to save the day.

But then again, you never know… And as we’ve learned in the movies, nothing is impossible!

—Neil Pond

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Movie Review: “Friendship”

Paul Rudd & Tim Robinson strike bro-crush gold in scathingly funny male-bonding comedy

Friendship
Starring Tim Robinson and Paul Rudd
Directed by Andrew DeYoung
Rated R

In theaters Thurs., May 15

Socially stunted Craig (Tim Robinson) develops a bodacious bro-crush on his new neighbor, the suave local TV weatherman Austin (Paul Rudd), in this new gem of cringe comedy about what can go hilariously off-track in male relationships.

It’s an impressive first film for director Andrew DeYoung, but Friendship really finds its wince-y, perfect-pitch groove in Tim Robinson, who spent four seasons as a writer and performer with Saturday Night Live before launching his own successful Netflix series; I Think You Should Leave was about a guy who drives other people away—which is exactly what happens here. Robinson’s Craig is like an overgrown, awkward kid who never fully matured, and much of the film hinges on his hapless, sometimes explosive ignorance in all kinds of situations at home, at work and anywhere else he tries—and fails spectacularly—to fit in.

Rudd, also one of the film’s executive producers, provides the perfect counterpart as a guy who seemingly has it all (a glamorous job, a rock band, a beautiful wife and cool hobbies), but also some insecurities of his own. Sometimes, it feels like Rudd is channeling bits of his smooth ladies-man reporter vibes from Anchorman, while Robinson’s substantial roots in SNL’s subversive sketch humor creep and crawl through everything, orchestrated to an original soundtrack (by Keegan DeWitt) that adds to the air of anything-might-happen unhinged-ness.

Kate Mara plays Craig’s wife, Jack Dylan Glazier (from two It horror flicks, and Shazam!) is their son. I loved the son’s girlfriend (Anora’s Ivy Wolk), whose only spoken lines are “Hi” and “Thank you for the potato.”) And also the young ponytailed phone salesman (Billy Byrk) who doubles as a drug dealer on lunch breaks of Rollos and Red Bull.

How knockout funny is it all? Well, not every movie can wring laughs from neighborhood speed cushions, a psychedelic toad, mushrooms, aqueduct spelunking, soiled clothing and the very mention of a Marvel movie. But this caustic buddy-buddy cocktail truly swings in the awkward yin-yang between Robinson and Rudd, who demonstrate how riotously askew a male friendship can go—especially if you’re clueless, like Craig, to every social cue.  

Neil Pond  

Poolside with Swamp Dogg

Movie review: Wooly, wide-ranging doc spotlights the (almost) legendary cult musician and his friends

Swamp Dogg Gets His Pool Painted
Documentary
Directed by Isaac Gale & Ryan Olsen
Unrated
In theaters Friday, May 2

He’s recorded and released more than 25 albums, worked with superstars and written million-selling songs. And most people have no idea who he is. He’s Jerry Williams Jr., better known as Swamp Dogg, a Virginia-born musician who became a cult figure during more than seven decades on the fickle, not-quite-famous fringes of the music industry.

This pleasantly quirky, engagingly colorful documentary introduces us to Williams and his two longtime housemates, Guitar Shorty and Moogstar, who shared his ranch-style home in a leafy Los Angeles suburb—where, we learn, nearly all the neighbors seem to be making porn vids. Shorty and Moog also share Dogg’s on-again, off-again relationship with what might be considered success.

We learn that Williams, now in his 80s, made his first record in the mid-1950s, toured constantly, later becoming a label exec, a producer, arranger and a multi-genre songwriter, dabbling in disco, rap, R&B and country, co-penning (with Gary U.S. Bonds) the 1971 Johnny Paycheck hit “She’s All I Got.” He started his own label, releasing what surely must be the most commercially successful of all CDs of Beatles songs “performed” by dogs, chickens, cows and sheep (1983’s “Beatle Barkers”). He recorded a duet of “Sam Stone” with John Prine, performed on the Grand Ole Opry and had his own cable-TV cooking show, If You Can Kill It, I Can Cook It. In the early ‘70s, he was investigated by the CIA in the 1970s for protesting the war in Vietnam alongside actress-turned-activist Jane Fonda.

Somewhere along the way, he devised his alter ego, Swamp Dogg. Some of his album covers—depicting him riding a giant rat rodeo-style, as a hot dog slathered in mustard and onions, or as Jesus on a cross—are visual hints of his wide-ranging, wildly idiosyncratic takes on multiple formats of music.

The film shows him working in the studio on what would be his latest album, Blackgrass: From West Virginia to 125th St, released last year, blurring the lines between folk, blues, country, roots music and soul with a savory brew of new Swamp Dogg originals, favorites from past albums and timeless ‘50s R&B classics.

Swamp’s saga is a wooly, wide-ranging, hip ‘n’ flip tale of the ups and downs, ins and outs and upside-downs of a funky, improbably flexible lifetime in the music biz, the story of a true survivor who recounts much of his wildly unpredictable ride sitting in the shade of his backyard, watching an artist paint the bottom of his swimming pool. You don’t find out exactly what’s being painted until the end of the movie, but suffice it to say, it puts the perfect cherry on top of this swirly cinematic Swamp Dogg sundae.

Moogstar lives with Swamp Dogg in their “bachelor pad for aging musicians.”

One of the movie’s most endearing qualities is the turn of its spotlight often onto Dogg’s housemates in their “bachelor pad for aging musicians.” We learn how Guitar Shorty (whose death, in 2022, is covered in the film) was a winner on TV’s The Gong Show, and about a transformational encounter by Moogstar at the Montana gravesite of motorcycle-riding daredevil Evel Knievel. There’s a free-flowing, anything-goes kind of grooverey across time and space with a combination of archival footage, home videos and animation.

Dogg’s celebrity friends—like comedian Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and head Jackass honcho Johnny Knoxville—also pop by the pool to swap tales and shoot the breeze. We meet one of Dogg’s five daughters, Jeri, now a neurologist. We learn how his late wife, Yvonne, became his lifelong anchor, partner and manager.

It’s a sweeping, often funny, sometimes profane and ultimately sweet story of a man whose wholly unique claim to pop culture spans decades and crosses just about all the boundary lines that typically define musical categorization. And you come away with the feeling that, despite all the yin and yang, the winning and the losing, the highs and the lows, the hits and the misses, Swamp Dogg—and Jerry Williams—wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I consider myself one of the luckiest motherf*uckers in the world,” he notes. After seeing Swamp Dogg Gets His Pool Painted, you’ll understand why.

Neil Pond

Fangs a Lot

Movie Review: Vampires attack a 1930s juke joint in ‘Sinners,’ a heady horror movie about…a bunch of things

Sinners
Starring Michael B. Jordan, Hailee Steinfeld, Miles Canton & Delroy Lindo
Directed by Ryan Coogler
Rated R

In theaters Friday, April 18

A phantasmagoric, blues-infused parable with a lot on its mind, Sinners brings together history, lore, music and mystical mojo into a spicy golly-whopper of a tale about lookalike twin veterans who return to their Mississippi homeland in the Jim Crow South after serving overseas in World War I.

Known as “Smoke” and “Stack” (and both played by Michael B. Jordan), the bros—toting a satchel of cash, likely from some gangsta-like postwar activities up north, in Chicago—want to open a social club where local blues artists can perform, people can gamble, drink, party and dance, and the money will flow.

But some vampires—yes, vampires—have other ideas. And they’re out for blood.

Director Ryan Coogler, who made his hit-movie bona fides with the Rocky spinoff Creed and Marvel’s Black Panther, shows he’s also adept with a rip-roaring, rampaging thriller about the undead, set to a vibe-rich soundtrack of deep-dish delta blues. Vampires, as you might recall, have always been depicted as seductive, sexually voracious creatures, and Coogler doesn’t shy from reminding us of that longtime connection. In Sinners, both the living and the dead clearly enjoy the pleasures of the flesh.

These vampires are also seductive in another way, “inviting” the living to join their ranks and exist for eternity, out of time, where all are welcome, regardless of credo or skin color.

The vampires represent several other things, too, including the “blood” ties of ancestry, the cross-pollination of cultures, a timeline connecting past and present, and the breaching of “boundaries” separating the living and the dead. The movie clearly evokes the fable of blues guitarist Robert Johnson, who was so “unnaturally” gifted that the story arose he must have breached that boundary, meeting the devil in a crossroads and selling his soul in exchange for musical talent.

In the movie, young guitar-toting “Preacher Boy” Sam (newcomer Miles Caton, making a most impressive movie debut), is chastised by his evangelist father (Saul Williams) about playing in honkytonks, making music for “drunkards and philanderers” and doing a dangerous “dance with the devil.” Sam is clearly the movie’s Robert Johnson surrogate, with Sinners suggesting that music has an almost otherworldly potency, a connective, life-changing power that can even open supernatural portals—like when the juke joint is suddenly filled for a dreamlike sequence with dancers and musicians across centuries. We see Native American spirit dancers mixing it up with hip-hoppers, twerkers and even a funkadelic guitarist. It’s a marvelously eye-popping head trip, just like when, later, a field full of vampires break into an extended Irish jig and a folk song, suggesting yet another regional current of musical heritage.

Hailee Steinfeld (above) is a femme fatale. Veteran actor Delroy Lindo plays Delta Slim, a bluesman with stories to tell. Britain’s Jack O’Connell is Remmick, the vampire chieftain.

It’s all woven into a rich, vibrantly detailed tapestry of the Great Depression South, with allusions to the region’s history of ugly volatility between Black and white culture, the concept of sin and transgression, themes of separation and segregation, and the thin line between faith and fear. It goes a bit gonzo in its second half, almost like Quentin Tarantino took the reins for the finale, when the blood finally flows and spurts, the vampires crash the party, and everything takes an explosively hyper-violent turn.

How does it all pan out? Well, you’ll just have to watch to see, but trust me, it’s a wild ride. Stay for the credits for a flash-forward with one of the central characters, now elderly (and played, in a nice touch, by real-life blues guitarist Buddy Guy).

A zestfully fresh take on thangs with fangs, Sinners invites you sink your teeth into the juicy, boldly unexpected turns of this spicy and sensual deep-South honky-tonk horror show.

—Neil Pond

Not So Picture-Perfect

Movie Review: “Art For Everybody,” about landscape artist Thomas Kinkade, shows the darker side of the so-called “Painter of Light”

Art For Everybody
Directed by Miranda Yousef
Unrated
In theaters Friday, April 18

This superbly crafted, warts-and-all documentary about the one of the world’s most commercially successful artists of all time pulls back the curtain on Thomas Kinkade, the self-proclaimed “Painter of Light,” to show how he wasn’t always so bright and sun-shiny.

Kinkaid rose to fame in the early ‘90s for his artwork featuring unnaturally illuminated pastoral landscapes, often glowing intensely with illumination from the inside of bucolic cottages in lushly rendered fairy-tale settings. His work was hyper-stylized, surrealistically calm and blatantly nostalgic. “I don’t really paint the world the way it looks,” Kinkade notes in an early interview. “I paint the world we all kinda daydream it could be.”  Fans lapped it up like syrup, and Kinkade became a multimillionaire through mass merchandised reproductions of his paintings and all kinds of spinoff lifestyle products, services and collectibles. He hawked his wares on TV’s home-shopping network QVC, and hundreds of Thomas Kinkade specialty stores sprang up in malls and retail centers across America.

But as the movie points out, critics were often dismissive of Kinkade, calling his work gaudy, garish and kitschy—or, as one says in the film, “really, really, really bad art.”

Kinkade offered populist, easily digestible, imaginatively wholesome alternatives to the edgier, often controversial and more “challenging” offerings of the modern-art world. In other words, he did paintings for the masses, art for everybody—or everybody else. Many fervent fans were drawn to his frequent professions of faith, seeing his paintings as calming, welcoming extensions of the Christianity he seemed to ardently embrace. Many of his pictures depicted religious stories or passages from the Bible.

But was all of it fakery, performance art or even fraud? Was Kinkade living a double—or triple, or quadruple—life, a man with multiple personas and personalities? The Painter of Light, as one of his daughters says, “was a side of him. But he had all these other sides.”

Told through archival film clips and narration by Kinkade’s family members, business associates, supporters, other painters and art experts, it’s a fascinating portrait of an artist who ultimately became “suffocated” by the commercial juggernaut he’d created. His empire eventually collapsed in lawsuits, financial ruin, allegations of fraud, a swirl of sexual indiscretions, and reports of aberrant, drunken behavior (urinating on a Winnie the Pooh character in a Disneyland hotel, fondling a woman’s breasts). He was accused of using evangelical Christianity as a cloak, a disguise to deceive—and sucker—an impressionable audience. Kinkade died, at age 54 in 2012, overdosing on booze and Valium.

“He had it all,” says his former wife. “And he threw it away.”

The most fascinating part of the film shows Kinkade’s now-adult daughters digging deep into his vault, a locked-away room where their father kept everything he’d ever drawn, showing us his early works and sketches—sometimes grotesque, turbulent and even violent depictions that suggest a much more tortured and troubled soul floundering in darkness rather than basking in the light he’d later make his brand. Maybe, suggests Kinkade’s sister, it had something to do with their abusive father, their parents’ divorce and growing up in a California “shack” often without heat or electricity.

In revealing the deeper demons that haunted—and possibly consumed—Kinkade, Art for Everybody shows how even the Painter of Light had a dark side. And how, as one critic notes, a cottage with such an unnatural glow just might be, in his oil-on-canvas fairy-tale world, an ideal deception for a wicked witch inside, waiting to gobble you up.

—Neil Pond

Horny Bastards

“Death of a Unicorn” is a galloping, gonzo horror comedy that skewers the rich

Death of a Unicorn
Starring Paul Rudd, Jenna Ortega & Richard E. Grant
Directed by Alex Scharfman
Rated R

In theaters Friday, March 28

If you think, by the title, that this must be some pretentious, snooty foreign drama about the listlessness of a marriage, the unraveling of an idyllic dream, or the melancholic end of childhood—well, I can clear that up for you. It’s not.

In this galloping, gonzo horror comedy, a group of characters coalesce around the body of a young unicorn that’s been hit by a car on a mountainous road through the Rockies. Instead of trying to “help” the wounded creature, they instead finish it off with a gun and a tire iron—and then make plans to make a killing on the mind-blowing, magical potency of its blood and its glowing, serrated horn.

And they soon find out there’s also a mama and papa unicorn out there in the mountains, and boy, are they pissed.

The ensemble cast is full of familiar faces, and everyone is aboard for the thrill-ride terrors spiked with satirical skewerings of fat-cat rich folks who want to hubristically capitalize on something wild, wooly and wonderful that they don’t understand. Everyone gets their share of quick-witted quippery, snide remarks and snippy, character-revealing jibes. Paul Rudd plays a widowed lawyer who brings his daughter (Jenna Ortega) along to help him curry favor with the family of a dying pharmaceutical-company oligarch (Richard E. Grant). Téa Leoni is a spoiled wife, Will Poulter is a spoiled son, and Barry’s Anthony Carrigan is a put-upon butler. Steve Park and Suniti Mani are scientists called in for consultation about the little unicorn’s restorative powers, which can apparently clear up acne, rebuild failing vision, cure cancer—and maybe even thwart death.  

“We’re gonna live forever!” someone crows enthusiastically. Well, not so fast.

When the parents of the junior unicorn—the junicorn, I guess—come looking for revenge, they begin skewering, impaling, eviscerating and stomping everything, and everyone, in sight. Blood flows, guts spill and heads get crushed. The “adult” unicorns are majestically monstrous fanged creatures with talons on their massive hooves, like the raptors in Jurassic Park crossed with bulked-up plow horses. And the movie certainly sets up its unctuous characters so we’ll root for the unicorns, eager to see who’ll get taken out next, with only a handful of exceptions, and how.

There’s a bit of mushy (human) family drama in the middle of all the gleefully gory goings-on, but it’s mostly a distraction. The special effects—the unicorns—don’t look very special, especially in the wake of some four decades of hi-tech FX advancements.  

Ortega, who garnered multiple awards nominations for the Netflix Addams Family spinoff series Wednesday, plays Ridley, who feels a spiritual “connection” to the animals. It’s through her we learn of the legendary beasts’ deep-rooted place in folklore, mythology and religion—and how a “pure-hearted maiden” may be the only thing capable of taming them. And Rudd, with more than 130 acting credits in a spectrum of movies and TV shows, gets to do something he’s never done before: run for his life ahead of a unicorn as terrifying as a dinosaur. We didn’t see that in Anchorman.

And—in this age of declining biodiversity, intense droughts, polluted water, severe wildfires, rising sea levels and catastrophic storms, all brought on or exacerbated by human activity—Death of a Unicorn reminds us, yet again, that we abuse Mother Nature at our peril. Cause payback can be a real bitch, even if you don’t end up getting ripped apart by a couple of angry unicorns.

Neil Pond

Oh, the Pain

In “Novocaine,” Jack Quaid dives into danger as a man with no feelings…sort of

Novocaine
Starring Jack Quaid & Amber Midthunder
Directed by Dan Berk & Robert Olsen
Rated R

In theaters Friday, March 14

When his office crush gets abducted, a young bank assistant manager sets out to rescue her. That sounds like it could be the setup for any number of flicks, but this gonzo action comedy hinges on the “ordinary” hero’s rare genetic disorder, which prevents him from feeling pain.

We learn that Nathan Caine (Jack Quaid, from TV’s The Boys) grew up with the nickname of Novocaine, given to him by bullying schoolmates who delighted in making him their recess punching bag; they enjoyed seeing him take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’. (P.S., Nathan’s condition is a real-world thing, CIP, or congenital insensitivity to pain, which affects a spectrum of bodily sensitivities.)  On a tentative first date at a diner, he tells Sherry (Amber Midthunder) that he dares not ingest solid food (he might chew up his tongue and not know it), and his wristwatch timer is reminding him to take a bathroom break (because he doesn’t get a natural “signal” that his bladder needs emptying).

But when the bank gets robbed and Sherry gets taken as a hostage, Nathan isn’t thinking about pee breaks as he plunges into a gauntlet of pain-free heroics, encountering sneering bad guys, booby-trapped lairs, flying bullets and body-slamming brawls. I must give the movie credit for finding, ahem, creative ways to illustrate just how impervious Nathan is to pain. He gets walloped in a wide variety of ways, like the coyote in a real-life Road Runner cartoon. He breaks his thumb to slip out of handcuffs and turns a broken bone—his own protruding tibia—into a lethal weapon. He has his fingernails pulled out with pliers, gets plugged with an arrow from a crossbow, almost crushed under a garage car lift, impaled with a medieval mace and calmly digs out a bullet from his arm.  

But here’s the thing. Nathan is no John Wick, no James Bond or Deadpool. He can be grievously injured, or even killed—he just doesn’t “feel” it, which puts him in even more peril. People with CIP won’t know spilled coffee can scald their hand, because they don’t get the “Ouch! That hurts!” message. That sets up the subplot, about how Nathan might not register physical discomfort, but he’s not immune from emotional distress. (The movie opens with REM’s “Everybody Hurts.”) Quaid, the son of actors Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan, has an amiable everyman quality that squares with Nathan as an average guy, certainly no superhero, who removes the “dis” from his “disability” and dives right into danger.

And people do get killed. The movie’s rampaging dark humor doesn’t really jibe with all the blood and body goop, or when people expire via bullets or beatings.

Amber Midthunder, who has appeared in FX’s Legion and starred in The CW’s sci-fi drama Roswell, New Mexico, brings a tantalizing dash of ambiguity and vulnerability to her role as the “love interest,” noting that we’re all scarred by something, hiding a part of ourselves until someone lets us know it’s OK to show it. Matt Walsh, from TV’s Veep, gets in a few droll quips as a sports-obsessed cop.

But mainly, Novocaine wants to show Nathan enduring an avalanche of mayhem and make audiences squeal with perverse glee seeing him rebound from every body-abusing, bone-breaking, skin-scaring whack, crunch, burn, blast and kaboom. You may think it’s all giddy popcorn fun, but for me, I didn’t particularly enjoy being turned into a movie surrogate for those schoolyard bullies, who kicked Nathan’s ass repeatedly, every day, because they knew, hey, he can’t feel it.

At least, in The Road Runner, when the coyote gets flattened with an anvil to the head or smushed by a bolder, well, it’s only a cartoon—with no squishy viscera or protruding bones.

Neil Pond

Bruiser Babe

“Queen of the Ring” is the true story of the woman at the colorful center of a wrestling revolution

Queen of the Ring
Starring Emily Bett Richards, Josh Lucas & Francesca Eastwood
Directed by Ash Avildsen
Rated PG-13

In theaters Friday, March 7

Unless you’re a deep-dish wrestling fan, you probably don’t know about Mildred Burke, who dominated the sport for some 20 years as the “Kansas Cyclone.” This is her story, based on the 2009 book by Jeff Leen, The Queen of the Ring: Sex, Muscles, Diamonds, and the Making of an American Legend.

That title pretty much says it all—sensuality, brawn and glamour wrapped in wrestling tights. Emily Bett Richards, best known for her role as brainy Felicity Smoak on the CW series Arrow and its DC spinoffs, slips convincingly into the starring role of Burke, a single mom raising her baby boy while slinging hash in a small-town diner and dreaming of a way out of the boonies.

“I’ve always loved being feminine and tough,” Mildred says, hooked on the rough-and-tumble razzle-dazzle of seeing her first wrestling match, as a hyped-up crowd boos a hissable “heel” putting the hurt on a handsome “babyface.” The stars align when she meets a dashing wrestling promoter, Billy Wolfe (Josh Lucas), who gives her a shot in his traveling wrestling sideshow. Soon she’s grappling in carnivals with big sweaty guys from the crowd—and beating them.

And she finds herself falling for Billy Wolfe, several years older. Their “complicated” on-again/off-again relationship is a major crux of the movie, especially when she finds out he’s a cad, canoodling with other girls as he grooms them for the ring.  

Mildred becomes a ticket-selling draw, a wrestling superstar, a heroine to little girls, and a big part of the mainstreaming of “lady wrestlers” at a time when female wrestling was illegal in much of the country.  As a tagline for the movie notes, she becomes the first female million-dollar athlete in history—long, long, long before Venus Williams, Simone Biles or Coco Gauff came into the sports spotlight.

Director Ash Avildsen knows a thing or two about sports flicks. You might say they’re in his blood. He’s the son of Oscar-winning director John Avildsen, who made Rocky and three Karate Kid movies. Queen of the Ring certainly makes the most of its modest budget, and the wrestling scenes have the wallop and wham of authenticity. You’ll spot some familiar faces playing real people from the wrestling world. Walton Goggins (currently on HBO’s season three of The White Lotus) is East Coast wrestling mogul Jack Pfefer. Hey, isn’t that Francesca Eastwood (Clint’s daughter) as wrestler Mae Young, who has a thing for other girls in tights? And there’s Martin Kove, who played the original antagonist in The Karate Kid, as promoter Al Haft. Adam Demos (from the Netflix series Sex/Life) is “Gorgeous George” Wagner, who became a strutting superstar with a flair for flamboyant showmanship and a head topped with bountiful, blonde-dyed hair.

The movie strikingly recreates scenes and settings from its era-spanning story, from the 1930s into the ’60s, when television catapulted wrestling into dens and living rooms across America. (There must have been a separate line item on the budget for men’s fedoras and porkpie hats). And it gets a some further bona fides with appearances by real-life female wrestlers, like Toni Storm (an All Elite Wrestling world champion) and Kamille (nee Kailee Dawn Latimer), making her film debut as the towering, tough-as-nails June Byers, who would become, like Mildred, a Professional Wrestling Hall of Famer.  

Throughout the movie, we’re reminded that wrestling is highly physical—and sometimes dangerous, as wrestlers can be seriously injured, or even killed, in the ring.  But it’s also a show, a spectacle, a piece of stagecraft with characters, personas and plotlines. “I want to entertain people,” Mildred says. “I can’t sing, and I can’t dance. But I can tell a story.”

Stay for the credits and you’ll learn that Mildred Burke died, at the age of 73, in 1989. But her story is one of force, determination, reinvention and perseverance, and Richards digs in with a vigorous intensity to flesh out her character’s multilayered persona as a mother, breadwinner and savvy businesswoman who found success, fame and riches in a “man’s world.” This wrestling tale about the queen of the ring has a rousing ring of truth, especially for anyone who wants to learn more—in this Women’s History Month—about a woman at the center of a colorful chapter of wrestling history.

Neil Pond

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You Go, Girls!

Movie review: “Rule Breakers” tells the inspiring true story of a group of high school computer-whiz Afghans who rocked the world at international competitions

Rule Breakers
Starring Nikohl Boosheri, Ali Fazell & Waj Ali
Directed by Bill Gutenberg
Rated PG

In theaters Friday, March 7

Since it’s Women’s History Month, here’s some Women’s History—about a group of teenage girls from war-torn Afghanistan that came to America in 2017 to compete in a global robotics competition.  Based on their inspiring story, this emotionally stirring dramatic recreation reminds us of their impressive feat—from a part of the world at a time where girls and women were just beginning to emerge from the brutal oppressions of Taliban rule—and illustrates the courage of these young women, the power of dreams and the importance of education.

If you love “underdog” stories, Rule Breakers certainly falls into that category. It’s Rocky with robots. Canadian actress Nikohl Boosheri leads the cast as the determined young college student—based on Roya Mahboob, the real-life IT pioneer and software guru recognized by TIME magazine in 2013 for building internet classrooms in her native Afghanistan—who teaches a group of high school girls basic programming skills, then how to build and operate robots. But it’s not easy, as they navigate volatile—and violent—Middle Eastern politics and defy the country’s heavy-handed patriarchal norms to become a team, the Afghan Dreamers, and participate in competitions around the world.

The movie mostly follows familiar dramatic “beats” as the girls bravely break the rules…and navigate the perils, including Taliban threats, a roadside ambush and a mosque bombing that strikes tragically close to home. And the film certainly represents Mahboob’s advocacy for girls and women—the empowerment of education and the global “language” of STEM (science, technology, engineering and math)—as it shows young minds from varying cultures, religions, languages and customs coming together with a common goal of finding solutions to large-scale humanitarian problems, like detecting toxins in water and locating land mines, left over from deadly warfare, so they can be safely removed.

“The world has too many borders, and too many walls,” says one of the competition organizers, stressing the positive vibes of diversified global get-togethers that encourage cooperation and unity while fostering innovation, fueling young brainpower and creating bridges instead of barriers. “It’s not people building robots,” says one of the participants. “It’s robots building people.”

It’s also got a guest appearance by Fleabag’s Phoebe Waller-Bridge, and a performance spot for the Black Eyed Peas to remind everyone at a competition that “Tonight’s gonna be a good night.” There even some situational humor, and one scene—set in a thumpin’ German disco—where the girls shake off their head coverings, let down their hair and allow themselves a few glorious groovin’ moments before getting back to work. As Cyndi Lauper reminded us way back in the ‘80s, girls just wanna have fun. Even hajib-wearing, computer-coding, robot-rockin’ Afghani teens, taking a short break from breaking the rules, crossing borders and making the world a better place.  

Neil Pond

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