Tight Trio

Powerful acting performances anchor brutally honest, real-life cancer drama

Our Friend
Starring Dakota Johnson, Casey Affleck & Jason Segel
Directed by Gabriela Cowperthwaite
R
In select theaters and available video on demand Jan. 22, 2021

Shailene Woodley had it. Shirley MacLaine had it. So did Ali McGraw, Olivia Cooke and Bella Thorne.

It’s dying-girl disease. And it affects a lot of beautiful Hollywood actresses, in a span of films, from the classics—Love Story and Terms of Endearment—to more contemporary millennial tear-jerkers like The Spectacular Now, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl and Midnight Sun.

Now Dakota Johnson has it, in this eloquent, sensitive, strong-hearted adaptation of an award-winning 2015 Esquire magazine first-person feature.

In that article, writer Matt Teague detailed the excruciating ordeal of his wife, Nicole, with cancer, and how their longtime best friend, Dane, upended his own life to relocate from another state and move into the laundry room of their home to help them.

Director Gabriela Cowperthwaite, whose previous feature was the true-life military drama Meagan Levy (2017), crafts the story of the Teagues in a series of flashbacks and flash-forwards. We get to see how the friendship begins between Nicole (Johnson) and Matt (Casey Affleck), a young married couple living in Shreveport, Miss., and Dane (Jason Segel), and how it continues when the Teagues move away to neighboring Fairhope, Ala.   

As anyone who’s had any experience with cancer knows, it’s not pretty. And the movie softens much—a great deal—of Matthew Teague’s article about just how nasty and messy and ugly things got as he watched, and cared for, his wife as she wasted away. But who would want to watch that, right?

But you might want to watch Dakota Johnson, Casey Affleck and Jason Segal, all giving some of the best performances they’ve given in a “mainstream” drama in a long time. You may best remember Johnson in the fantasy-horror weird-out that was Suspiria or her 50 Shades S&M softcore sex romps, portraying characters who took viewers on flights of wild escapism. In Our Friend, however, she plays Nicole with the delicate, nuanced sense of a woman grounded not in fantasy, but in the realities of an actual person whose life took some very wrenching turns.

Jason Segal, Isabella Kai & Violet McGraw

Segel, best known for comedies like Forgetting Sarah Marshall, The Muppets, I Love You, Man and his appearances on How I Met Your Mother, is outstanding as Matt and Nicole’s somewhat listless best friend. Dane leaves his job at a sporting-goods store and finds his true calling by helping the Teagues do whatever they need, especially when it comes to the surrogate parenting of their two young daughters (Violet McGraw and Isabella Kai).    

Affleck won a slew of awards, including an Oscar, for the searing, emotionally draining drama Manchester by the Sea (2016), and he’s appeared in almost every other kind of film, from Westerns and comedies and sci-fi thrillers. He plays Matt as a tough nut to crack—a newspaper reporter who works his way up becoming a magazine war correspondent with a hard shell, one that’s not softened by his job or assignments that take him away from home for weeks at a time.

“I’m your best friend, asshole. I’m allowed to point out your sh*itty qualities,” Dane tells him. “You’re moody, you’re selfish, you’re distant.”

One of the surprises of Our Friend is how it weaves happy moments, funny and even uplifting bright spots into the fabric of sadness and what we know will become Nicole’s fate. There are jokes and giggles, goofy car singalongs to Carly Rae Jepson’s “Call Me Maybe,” a kayaking montage to Led Zeppelin (Nicole’s favorite band). But the movie also doesn’t shy away from some real-life fissues that added even more stress to the Teagues’ already stressful situation, like an extramarital affair and a family pet that has to be put down at a most importune moment.

Gwendoline Christie, from Game of Thrones and the Star Wars franchise, shows up in a most unexpected manner, and country music fans will likewise get a jolt to see hitmaker Jake Owen in a couple of scenes—making his movie acting debut—as an insensitive spouse of one of Nicole’s best friends.

It’s all a lovely, finely tuned, brutally honest portrait of a marriage, a family and a friend, who went through something terrible—and something profoundly bonding—together. It’ll make you weep, but you’ll feel good about the tears.

And the bottom line, in this “dying girl” movie: It’s not so much about a beautiful dying girl. It’s about a beautiful friendship that grew and blossomed around Nicole Teague, and became even stronger when she found out she was dying—and especially when her other “friends” started to peel off and pull away. It’s a movie about loyalty, devotion, bromance and selflessness, sacrifice and a steadfast kind of friendship that endures everything, even the looming spectre of separation and death.

It’s about coming together, staying together and holding on, when something heinous and relentless and horrible is trying so hard to pull us apart.

“What kind of person gives up his entire life?” asks a frustrated girlfriend (Marielle Scott) Dane has been dating, at the end of her relationship rope after he’s moved away for an extended stay with the Teagues.

“I’d say a good friend,” Dane answers.

And I’d say, in a world like we’re living in at this moment, feeling more pulled apart and hotly divided than ever, we could all use a bit more coming together, staying together and holding on. We could all sure use a good friend like Dane. And we can certainly use a feel-good movie like Our Friend.

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